2011年6月1日 星期三

Discussing Cause - 2 ( Out of Business )

Mr. Williams closed his shop, and I found several reasons for why the business failed. One reason is that the store is located next to the lobby on the ground floor of the Fairfax Apartment Building. Yet, it is 3miles away from a shopping center that has two large music stores, and less people would expend their in this store. Another reason is that most of the CDs were hip-hop and rock, but most of residents there are at the age of 51 to 60 And they may not like to listen to hip-hop and rock music. Besides, the expense of hiring clerks is too much, and it is hard to make both end meet.  In addition, the shop was open Monday to Friday from 10 to 5p.m. However, the time people who walk past the store are less than other time. Last, the store is not accept checks or credic cards, and it would reduce the people who want to expend. These reasons are why the business failed.

8 則留言:

  1. and less people would expend their in this store-->their後面沒有代名詞唷!
    both end meet-->both ends meet
    Last, the store is not accept...-->Last, the store does not accept...
    還有時態有點混亂喔~可能要注意一下

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  2. *~it is 3miles away from a shopping center that has two large music stores, and less people would expend their in this store.3 miles 要加一個空白鍵,a shopping center where are two large music stores~.因為要用某地方有there is/are,不可以用地方has/have~,their+?
    *accept 是動詞
    *~the people who want to expend.我覺得改成buy CDs.會比較好...

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  3. 上面那個where "there" are two large music stores再加上一個there !!

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  4. for why(好像是why 或是for which)

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  5. Yet這裡用Yet怪怪的
    Yet是然而~是1-1~要和上一句相反~
    Monday to Friday from 10 to 5p.m.
    from Monday to Friday at 1 to 5 p.m.

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  6. and less people would expend their in this store
    their後面應該要有名詞或者是把their改成theirs

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  7. * Yet, it is 3miles away from a shopping center that has two large music stores, and less people would expend their in this store. would expend their 是少媽尼嗎? and要不要改so因為用and翻起來是不是叫做"而且很少人會在他們店花錢" 你怎麼知道很少人會在他們店花錢 所以改so會不會順一點
    * 51 to 60 And 欸恩的 的 ㄟ變小寫
    * make both end meet end+s
    * Last, the store is not accept checks or credic cards,~ is -> does credic是credit吧 c跟t離很遠吧我終於知道你為什麼考不過英打

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  8. 1)make both end meet的end要加s
    2)And要改小寫

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