2011年5月4日 星期三
comparing-1
Comparing to two Americans, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. First, both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson were important people in Americans. And they both delegated to the Continental Congress. Besides, John studied and practice law. Likewise, Thomas studied and practice law. In addition, John as well as Thomas were singers. Last, they died on the same date.
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First, both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson were important people in Americans.
回覆刪除為什麼重要~可以舉個例吧!
Besides, John studied and practice law. Likewise, Thomas studied and practice law.
這兩句合在一起寫看起來才不會這麼累贅喔!
篇幅有點短~結論句要不要再想一個~不然結束的好突然~
補一個結論句吧
回覆刪除Comparing to two Americans, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson這句和我錯一樣，所以快去看靜諦給我的建議八!!
回覆刪除And they both delegated to 前面可以不用加and~
回覆刪除怎麼大家都走文章簡潔路線....
1.Comparing to two Americans, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson.這句錯了!妳可以寫Compared to two Americans, John Adams and Tomas Jefferson, they were~.(放一句你要比較的內容)
回覆刪除2.practiced才對(兩個都要改喲!)
3.加個結尾句吧!
有缺結論
回覆刪除感覺用法可以再更多變一些!!