2011年5月18日 星期三

Comparing-3

Belly and Anna are both my friends, and they are several similarities between them. First of all, they both live in Kaohsiung. Second, Belly majors in English. Likewise, Anna majors in English. Third, Belly is allergic to seafood. Similarly,Anna is allergic to seafood. Besides, Belly's birthday is on the same date as Anna's.  Furthermore, both Belly and Anna keep dogs in ther houses. Next, Belly is very nice to get alone with,and so is Anna. I can hardly believe I have two friend who are so similar to each other. And I'm so happy that I had two nice friends like them.

6 則留言:

  1. 1. they are several similarities between them.→ "there" are ~.
    2. that I had two nice friends like them.
    →I "have" two~.

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  2. Belly majors in English. Likewise, Anna majors in English.和Belly is allergic to seafood. Similarly, Anna is allergic to seafood.這幾句感覺有重複的句式,盡量再修改一下寫法囉~

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  3. ther (their)
    很多都重複上一句,可以多點字型變化!!

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  4. Belly and Anna are both my friends, and they are~
    they are -> there are
    Likewise & Similarly 都重覆了可以改個寫法

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  5. 第一行they→there
    both的句型比較多重複
    建議可以換成其他句型

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  6. 用其他的詞來代替人名~就不會一直重複出現
    例如 the former, the latter之類的

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