2011年4月13日 星期三
Describing a person
My younger sister and I went to the SHIN KONG MITSUKOSHI department store last Saturday. But she got lost when I didn't keep an eye on her. Please help me to find her as soon as possible. Her name is Amy, and she is ten years old. She is medium height and a little thin. Then she has big eyes, and she wears a pair of glasses. She has long and curly hair. When she is smile, there are dimples on her face. Besides, she wears a pink dress and yellow sandals when she got lost. If you see her, please call me immediately. My number is 2000-000.
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When she is smile這句兩個動詞囉!
回覆刪除Besides, she wears a pink dress and yellow sandals when she got lost前後時態要一致ㄡ!!
其他沒什麼問題
1)Besides, she wears a pink dress and yellow sandals when she got lost應該要整句都過去式
回覆刪除除了時態不一致其他沒問題囉~~
回覆刪除Besides, she wears~she got lost. 威爾是要改過去式喔
回覆刪除然後其他都還OK
然後你妹不是15X CM 然後5X KG嗎??怎麼會a little thin @口@?
When she is smile變smiling~
回覆刪除Besides, she wears a pink dress and yellow sandals when she got lost.
回覆刪除覺得這句全部用過去是會比較好，因為是在描述他當時的穿著..
另外，覺得你可以嘗試用一些方式,例如分詞構句、再提及名字...等其他方式，降低文章一直重複使用she的問題...
意見供你參考嚕~
Besides, she wears a pink dress and yellow sandals when she got lost
回覆刪除要改過去式吧!
She is medium height and a little thin.
可以再具體一點~因為每個人對胖瘦的標準都不一樣阿!