My name is Hsiao, Yi-Wen and I was born in an ordinary but wonderful family in Tainan. There are three people in my family, mom, dad and I. I am the only child in my family, so I would train myself to be more independent. My father is a always tell me that we should do everything with all my efforts for fear of regreting. Whenever I get into trouble, I will relentlessly ask myself if I do my best. If not, and I would try to solve the problem again. My mother is a gentle and kind-hearted person, and she has taught me a lot of methods about how to get along with other people. Besides, she certainly has great influence on me, and I always look up to her. His passion and dedication to family are the best things she gives me. She never forces me to do anything I don't like to do. She gives me much freedom of choice. That's why I can develop my hobbies on my own.
I will relentlessly ask myself if I do my best
回覆刪除感覺relentlessly不是那麼的恰當
內容可以在長一些
*恩...字可以大一點嗎???? 我已經近視了耶~
回覆刪除*mom, dad and I.覺得有一點不正視耶~改成mother, father and I.
*My father is a always tell me~ my father always tells me~
*If not, and I would try to solve the problem again. 有兩個連接詞，and去掉
*His passion and dedication to family are the best things she gives me. 是her
你可以寫一些你從你爸媽身上學到了些甚麼。
a always (多一個a)
回覆刪除that we should do everything with all my efforts for fear of regreting (we-->I, regreting-->regretting)
and I would try to solve the problem again(and-->then)
His passion (her)