The most embarrassing moment in my life happened when I was an elementary school student. I even feel very embarrassed when I think of it. At that time, I had attended a competition to make a speech. This was my first time to stand on the stage in public, and I tried to calm down. But I was so scared that I kept trembling. Soon, it was my turn to make a speech. And I tried my best to make the speech seem perfect. After finishing the performance, I walked down the stage with pleasure. Because of carelessness, I fell down from the stairs. And everyone started laughing at me; I was so ashamed that I wanted to find a place to hide into. This was the most embarrassing moment in my life, whenever I think of that moment, and I still fell so abashed.
And I tried my best to make the speech seem perfect. 有點不懂你要不要改一下下勒??
回覆刪除This was the most embarrassing moment in my life, whenever I think of that moment, and I still fell so abashed.你要不要把他拆成兩個句子?
This was the most embarrassing moment in my life. Whenever I think of that moment, and I still fell so abashed.然後fell應該改成feel吧還有這個abashed是啥??你是要打ashamed吧??
然後你要不要乾脆都把時態改成過去式?
I even feel very embarrassed when I think of it
回覆刪除最好加個時間不然不知道你再講哪時
had attended
過去完成式?Why?
to make the speech seem perfect
這邊的seem似乎有點多餘
This was the most embarrassing
用that比較好吧?
and I still fell so abashed
*felt
每個句子的開頭盡量不要用簡單的連接詞
ex:And .... But....
And everyone started laughing at me;
回覆刪除句首可以不用and就好囉~分號也要改成逗號
文章時態還蠻混亂的...
結論句不錯唷!大致上就這樣^^
1.And I tried my best to make the speech seem perfect. seem去掉比較好
回覆刪除2.~I still fell so abashed. fell要改成felt
最後一句時態要一致喔
回覆刪除fell→feel
更正fell 改成 feel 才對
回覆刪除而且整句的時態要一樣~
1)At that time, I had attended a competition to make a speech. 應該直接用過去式
回覆刪除2)This was my first time to stand on the stage in public 我絕得改成this was my first time to give a speech in public比較好
1.I even feel very embarrassed when I think of it. 改成 I always feel embarrassed when I think of it.比較好吧!不過其實這句有點累贅~
回覆刪除2.I had attended a competition to make a speech 改成 I attended a speech competition.比較順的感覺~
沒看到什麼問題欸...
回覆刪除倒數第二句
" This was the most embarrassing moment in my life, whenever I think of that moment, and I still fell so abashed."
前面was後面think有點怪`一致比較好
還有就最後那個feel囉~!
標題的e沒有大寫
回覆刪除I had attended 改成I attended
at that time 改成oneday
盡量多點連接詞看起來會比較順喔!!