There is the most horror dream that I have ever had. In my dream, I came to school as usual. I went to my class room, but no one was there. I thougt that it's must have something wrong. Afterward, I began to find if there was anyone here. It's getting dark, I didn't want to stay in such a terror place like here, so I tried to find the exit. But, I noticed that someone was walked behind me. I was so afraid that I began to run until
I couldn't heard his footstep in my back. In the end, I regarded that I had get away from the strange person, so I stopped. Next, a hand was catched me, and I shouted loudly. Finally, I woke up. There was nothing happened. I was so glad that it's just a dream. But something was weird. To my surprise, a red handprint was on my arm.
classroomu應該是連在一起吧?!
回覆刪除第二行的後面錯了!!是it must....不能有兩個動詞
第五行應該是was walking才對..又是動詞問題= =
是in my back 嗎??怪怪的 寫behind me就可以了吧!!
應該是at the end 吧.....
倒數第四行後面應該是had to get...吧
倒數第三行應該是a hand caught me吧....
讀後心得
那個醒來以後手紅紅的
應該是你自己抓的吧.....
不要自己下自己啦XDDDDDDDDDDD
P.S.不用客氣啦!!!
thought !!! spelling
回覆刪除horrible ADJ
看到這邊就不想看了! :D
請加油!
classroom要連在一起哦耶=ˇ=
回覆刪除哈哈我發現我要說的郭宜珍都說完了欸~
是caught唷
第四行的terror是名詞!!
回覆刪除可以多點連接詞 有點沒辦法連接!!
I thougt that it's must have something wrong.我也是看到拼錯...
回覆刪除It's getting dark, I didn't want to stay in such a terror place like here, so I tried to find the exit.那個It's 是不是要改成it was?? 然後terror好像是名詞好像要改成terrible吧?
然後其他就跟頭香姊姊一樣了
1.There is the most horror dream用was會不會比較好
回覆刪除2.classroom 要連在一起
3. I thougt that it's must have something wrong.
加個went through my mind看起來比較順
4.第4行的terror是名詞
5.was walked 是 was walking 吧!
6.第6行的in my back怪怪的
7. I was so glad that it's just a dream 是 it was just a dream 吧!
I thougt that it's must have something wrong中it's改成it was or it比較好吧
回覆刪除I regarded that I had get away from the strange person 中 get要改成got
a hand was catched me 應該是改成a hand was catching me 會比較恰當吧..
1. I thougt that it's must have something wrong. (it's要改成it)
回覆刪除2.It's getting dark, I didn't want to stay in ~ the exit.(要加上連接詞and!!)
3.In the end, I regarded that I had get away from the strange person, so I stopped.
(要改成at the end才對!!而had get 要改成had got)
4. Next, a hand was catched me, and I shouted loudly. (應該是a hand was catching me吧~)
可能有跟其他人重複...
就給你參考嚕~
It's getting dark用過去式喔~
回覆刪除horror和terror改成horrible和terrible
noticed that someone was walked behind me其中的walked改成進行式喔
a hand was catched me也是改進行式或是過去式
I was so glad that it's just a dream時態要一致
大概就這樣囉:))
classroom~
回覆刪除It "was" getting dark~
"terrible"place才對~
someone was "walking" behind me該變主動~
I had "got/gotten" away該變pp
caught~
it "was" just a dream~